In my waking consciousness and lying in my unlit room, it dawned upon me that I really would not be starting a new year at school. I would not be painting banners or doing mass dances in orientation. I would be be walking into school when the sky is till dark and see a semi-lit school, as if it too was half awake. I would no longer sit at a desk in a crammed classroom. And i would see not all the familiar and unfamiliar faces. Without a doubt, i miss not going to school.

As I washed up, I realised I would not even be walking past RJ, unable to absorb that unknown aura of happiness and familiarity. It's difficult to translate this into something coherent for your understanding but RJ was more than a school to me. It was more than a place that held my ups and downs, more than a place where I had lessons or meals. It was so, so much more. I spent almost every waking moment there, even during the holidays. My life practically passed through its halls.

Alas, it dawned upon me most strongly that I would not start the day in the company of my friends. I would be going forth to meet new people and gain new friends. I know I do not fear meeting new people or hate making friends. But what I miss is the company I've always had. We may not know it, but our greatest comfort and protection is the familiarity of our friends. Without them, I feel so different. So un-me.

In looking back, I think Ive lived a fantasic JC time. I think I've lived it all, but never to live it again. Never again. And such is the curse of time.