One month's almost past since the last blog post. January has come and gone in the blink of an eye. Which also means that ODAC "orientation" has officially ended. And ended it did on wednesday with the J1 Inauguration. For the J1s, looking at their faces full of eagerness, laughter and expectation, it was intriguing to think what we were thinking about one year ago before stepping forth into ODAC. For the J2s, most of us would have been thinking, in ways big and small, about the passing of one year and how, sooner or later, we would have ended our odac journey. It was pretty touching to see yida and louise tear and absolutely saddening to think of how we would be when we have to officially "handover" in may.

[Damn, they're playing Only Love by Trademark now. Which of course reminds me of BTC'06 group 4 and our inaug item. Talk about timing man.]

Last weekend, as the 2 batches went on their stroll-in-the-dark night walk, i was at home nursing a damn cold and cough. And it struck me pretty hard that it was the first time i wasn't going on an expedition with my batchmates. The strange feeling of standing at the stadium steps and bidding the others farewell.

After the hike (me delivering sausages to them in school), i was on the bus back with Hien. And she started telling me how close her brother (batch 15) and their odac batchmates were and still are today. They would still go climbing mountains, cycling, paddling together just like they were some 8 years ago. She kept speaking about how she herself joined in some of the expeditions (the siblings are vietnamese and they're super close) and how she was always so inspired by the bonds, the "lifelong friends" her brother had made. And that was, very simply, why she joined odac. And I did not tell her this, but her reason for joining odac was pretty much the same as mine. We were both sold, or more like inspired, by the very very close bonds that odacians forge, over and above the outdoor experience. Sadly, it's quite hard to picture me retaining close bonds to all of odac 22. Yet, there may be more hope in this after-leaving-rjc-odac business.

One year ago, some of our non-rafflesian members had to leave us. I still remember the feelings of helplessness of being able to do nothing, sadness that comes with parting, and hope that somehow, things would work out. I'm certainly not and never qualified to say "i know how you feel" to encourage anyone simply because i will never know how it feels to hang in that zone of uncertainty and the fear that comes with possible parting. It's certainly not comforting to tell someone that "our friendships will remain strong, no worries" because quite truthfully, it won't and isn't meant to. While out of sight may not totally leave you out of mind, the relationship will never really be the same. It would be almost silly to believe that someone who has left the school and the club could continue to be closely connected (no matter how many msn convos), especially for a cca like odac.

It's quite natural that as J2s, our feelings about this whole friend-may-leave-rj business is greatly reduced. Maybe it's us telling ourselves to be as disaffected by this as possible, or the knowledge of the foolishness of hope. Such is the glasses that hindsight grants us, to see the same things from another angle another way (not that the new angle is definitely better), one year on.

And so to Mel and Anabel, all the best is all I can say. I certainly won't know "how you're feeling" but my heart (as with many of your J2 gls) is with you guys (you'll probably not be reading this). To the other odac J1s, good luck is all i can say yep.

Off to crash. Math test tmr. Peeandsee and vectors, wadthehell.