“Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark.”

Has been one hell of a week, with tests, homework and lots of stuff going on. But a review of the week would not be right without mention of Odac elections on monday. And so the quote above was almost something of divine coincidence. I was telling teddy to find me a quote on passion and at the same time we cltr-c cltr-v this quote onto msn. That just settled it. Am quite happy with my speech, though i was nervous delivering it and it was kinda long and "serious" (very un gerald-ish) but i think what was best was the cheers and claps that i received after saying it. Whether it was clapping coz you agreed with what i said, or clapping as an automatic after-speech-just-clap reflex action or clapping cause i finally finished, well i'll still keep those 10 seconds and cherish them.

So i did not get vice chair and although a little sad and seems like deja vu to 2 yrs back, in sec 3 in np, when postings were released and i didnt get really wad i wanted. But this time round, i didnt really get uber depressed abt it all. And one reason could really be i have given up so much, sacrificed so much so its hard to get disillusioned with odac and perhaps the batch mates all mean so much too much for me to get angry or pissed with them. i dunno if that made sense but perhaps its a beautiful mystery.

And so i got HR+PR, which is something i know i'll enjoy. And looking back at my choice for vice chair, inside me, theres this small part that wanted it coz it was a "leadership position" and it would be good for my future. And when i knew i wasnt getting it, i just felt a little lost. But perhaps this signals a change, that i should not really focus on aiming for "leadership" but really doing something more meaningful, fulfilling and of great interest. If i really wanted to go for leadership and recognition and prestige, i would have stuck to council. However surreal this may sound i feel its all part of God's plan, perhaps to let me see life from another angle. That there's another path to finding success and fulfillment in life, that i can learn more about leadership without being the "leader" and all that by looking at things from a different angle. Whatever the case, i can only sit back, relax and enjoy.

"Humility is not about thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less."

Hopefully, this divine planning will make me realise the true joy of putting myself below others. And i really hope this whole exco of 11 will just serve truly for this small bunch of odacians, to the best of their abilities, for the best of the odacians.

And i know there are those that are certainly quite disappointed and depressed by what they did not get. And if you're one of them reading this now, i can only say this. That the allocation was done by the j2s and everyone had little control over it. What we do have control is how we are gonna make out of this next year together and i really want to encourage you to focus on what is within your control. Truly there has never been another time more apt than this for the Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."

And i wont tell you not to be sad, cause its inevitable, especially if you've lost something you've really desired. But all i can tell you is to believe...in odac. I dunno how to phrase this, but just believe in the odacians and odac, believe in this cca that you so love. And believe in what we can do together. And perhaps i may not have the wisdom to give wise counsel, or good advice, or encouragement, but if you want someone who can just listen, i'll be there.

And now moving on to more personal stuff, like REALLY personal, something in my heart for a long time. So i've given you lots of chances, gave you some leeway, cut you some slack and hoping that you'll know what's best for you and stop. just stop. But no, you chose to piss me real bad and continue what you precisely know will piss me off, and today you leave me with no choice. I don't even want to give an ultimatum coz i know you wont keep it, so i really dont want to do this but you left me with no choice MR
ULCER.

And salt will be your doom.

I feel damn man now.

Have a safe weekend everyone and to people like nevillenahrenli having exams this weekend, take care and may the huat be with you.